Once, when I was in high school, my mom gave my brother Jeff and I some money to go pick up dinner at Subway. Chances are, we probably fought over who was going to drive, if we were going to listen to country (my pick) or classic rock (his pick). If he drove, I nagged him about driving fast and dangerous – that this wasn’t the Indy 500. If I drove, we had to go past the house where my teenage crush lived to see if he was in his yard, or if his mom was hanging out laundry, or if his mailbox flag was up. Any tiny sighting related to this poor boy would just delight my teenage self and I drove past his house any chance I got, much to my brother’s dismay. No matter who drove, Jennifer jumped in the backseat, because she was the young princess of the family and was chauffeured all over the place by her two teenage siblings.
We drove to Subway, and I started the order. I wanted to order a foot long meatball sub. But somehow, with all the different sandwich choices, my mind couldn’t get my mouth to come up with the right words for my order. So I confidantly placed an order for a “six inch foot bong.” The Subway worker, who probably went to school with me, put on that face that I have seen about 18,384,000 times in my life. It is a look that says either, “What the heck is wrong with this girl?” or “What the heck is she trying to say…I am confused.” Of course, I realized that I just asked for a six inch foot bong after watching his reaction. It is hard to backpedal into coolness after you order a foot bong, so instead, I just turned beet red and whispered, “I would like a foot long meatball sub please.” Guess who was in hysterics about my verbal gaffe behind me? Was it A). The boy who I had a raging crush on? B) The coolest girl at school? or C) my brother and sister?

Six Inch Foot Bong of the Meatball Variety
It would be an even more embarrassing story if the correct answer was A, but it was C. Jeff and Jen were HYSTERICAL behind me. The wail of their laughter could be heard for miles. It has gone down as one of the things that they have never forgotten about me. Certainly the kind of memory that they file away, just to bring up when I get too big for my britches.
For a while, I was terrified to go back into Subway, for fear that I would again order a bong, more specifically, a foot bong, whatever that is. I would like to add a disclaimer that I don’t have a single experince with a bong – but I have now gotten over the fear of ordering footlongs at Subway. Who can resist that tasty marinara, melted cheese and pefect meatballs forever? Not me, that’s for sure.
Posted on April 2nd, 2009 by Jill
Filed under: Jillie's Sillies | 5 Comments »